I also have no words. Thank you for your example of wrestling with the deeper issues instead of rushing for the easier explanations. I liked what Sheila Wray Gregoire said in the article you linked to: "Jesus told us to look at the fruit to judge the tree, and the fruit of this tree is nasty." Praying and hoping that more and more people will see the dead fruit as a sign to stop ignoring the root issues... and that I'll have the courage to do the same.
Actually I’ve learning about and reflecting on the women listed in Jesus’s genealogy and some of the featured female characters in the biblical narrative. They were women of faith but not all of them Israelites. Tamar’s story is very interesting! God elevates these women. Sex and sexuality can be powerful and the story goes all the way back to garden. We were originally intended to help each other. Instead we fight for power over one another and the right to serve ourselves. Interesting also to study the world context as the early church began, how sex and women and slaves and children were viewed; how the early church turned their current cultural values upside-down, including prioritizing monogamous marriages and building of nuclear family. Humanity is deeply flawed and depraved. God goes after the heart and sees what we can’t see. We see the ugly, dirty, confusing behavior and may be quick to assume we understand motives. The Ravi situation is deeply disturbing on so many levels...we may be too quick as humans, even Christians, to idolize someone and then stand around appalled when they fall off the pedestal they never should’ve been up on in the first place. Anyway. I hear what you’re saying here - such important conversations.
As a man, I recognize I'm a member of the group of people who have caused all this pain. There is no excuse for abuse and it's terrible the way leaders make excuses. We must first assign individual responsibility and then look at the role of culture.
I took today's prompt and posed this question: "How can we change culture to protect women in general, and our daughters in particular?"
Here are some ideas:
1. Introduce accountability for abuse by creating forums where the roots of shame can be shared. I first learned this in Swaziland 15 where the culture is set up to hide the secrets of rape and abuse. Our team created women's retreats and created a safe place to share their secrets. The result (I'm told) was powerful both in terms of healing and empowerment to not just allow abuse in the future. Followup in small groups was essential to carry this forward.
2. Fathers need to step up in a hundred different ways. Most obviously by not walking away from their families. But more particularly in what they model for their sons. One thing I'm hoping to see is fathers coming together to initiate their sons. An initiation process for young Christian men would be one way to jumpstart the process.
3. Pornography on cell phones and computer screens is a huge problem that leads to the objectification of women. We have to be aggressive and strategic in how we limit exposure to it, especially with our sons.
There is so much more to be said here. I think Me Too is right - we need a women's movement that says, "we won't tolerate abuse and rape any longer." And somehow we need an empathic dialogue between the sexes.
Wow. I'm shocked. I had no idea about the Ravi stuff. Odd timing, because my sister-in-law are currently working together on writing a paper about David and women. We feel the same as you do - why does it seem like it's okay for this "man after God's own heart" to abuse, polygamize, concubine-ize women sexually, and ignore them when they are abused by others?? This is not a new issue. What to do... I don't know. Not helpful, just saying I am in this boat with you.
I also have no words. Thank you for your example of wrestling with the deeper issues instead of rushing for the easier explanations. I liked what Sheila Wray Gregoire said in the article you linked to: "Jesus told us to look at the fruit to judge the tree, and the fruit of this tree is nasty." Praying and hoping that more and more people will see the dead fruit as a sign to stop ignoring the root issues... and that I'll have the courage to do the same.
Actually I’ve learning about and reflecting on the women listed in Jesus’s genealogy and some of the featured female characters in the biblical narrative. They were women of faith but not all of them Israelites. Tamar’s story is very interesting! God elevates these women. Sex and sexuality can be powerful and the story goes all the way back to garden. We were originally intended to help each other. Instead we fight for power over one another and the right to serve ourselves. Interesting also to study the world context as the early church began, how sex and women and slaves and children were viewed; how the early church turned their current cultural values upside-down, including prioritizing monogamous marriages and building of nuclear family. Humanity is deeply flawed and depraved. God goes after the heart and sees what we can’t see. We see the ugly, dirty, confusing behavior and may be quick to assume we understand motives. The Ravi situation is deeply disturbing on so many levels...we may be too quick as humans, even Christians, to idolize someone and then stand around appalled when they fall off the pedestal they never should’ve been up on in the first place. Anyway. I hear what you’re saying here - such important conversations.
As a man, I recognize I'm a member of the group of people who have caused all this pain. There is no excuse for abuse and it's terrible the way leaders make excuses. We must first assign individual responsibility and then look at the role of culture.
I took today's prompt and posed this question: "How can we change culture to protect women in general, and our daughters in particular?"
Here are some ideas:
1. Introduce accountability for abuse by creating forums where the roots of shame can be shared. I first learned this in Swaziland 15 where the culture is set up to hide the secrets of rape and abuse. Our team created women's retreats and created a safe place to share their secrets. The result (I'm told) was powerful both in terms of healing and empowerment to not just allow abuse in the future. Followup in small groups was essential to carry this forward.
2. Fathers need to step up in a hundred different ways. Most obviously by not walking away from their families. But more particularly in what they model for their sons. One thing I'm hoping to see is fathers coming together to initiate their sons. An initiation process for young Christian men would be one way to jumpstart the process.
3. Pornography on cell phones and computer screens is a huge problem that leads to the objectification of women. We have to be aggressive and strategic in how we limit exposure to it, especially with our sons.
There is so much more to be said here. I think Me Too is right - we need a women's movement that says, "we won't tolerate abuse and rape any longer." And somehow we need an empathic dialogue between the sexes.
Wow. I'm shocked. I had no idea about the Ravi stuff. Odd timing, because my sister-in-law are currently working together on writing a paper about David and women. We feel the same as you do - why does it seem like it's okay for this "man after God's own heart" to abuse, polygamize, concubine-ize women sexually, and ignore them when they are abused by others?? This is not a new issue. What to do... I don't know. Not helpful, just saying I am in this boat with you.