We’ve talked before here about the White Savior Complex, especially when we were processing through and unpacking the story of Renee Bach through the podcast The Missionary last summer. You can find the posts here, including an interview with the podcast hosts, and then work backwards to read more.
One thing we haven’t talked about is the martyr complex and how these two could intersect.
What is a martyr complex? Here is a quote from Wikipedia, that ever-reliable source:
“In psychology a person who has a martyr complex, sometimes associated with the term "victim complex", desires the feeling of being a martyr for their own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it either feeds a psychical need or a desire to avoid responsibility.”
This article includes some ways to spot this in other people or yourself.
Something interesting that this article highlights is the way a martyr complex allows someone to bypass taking personal responsibility, as the wikipedia quote also says. If I suffer while engaging in humanitarian work that also dehumanizes people and employs racist ideas or attitudes, I can use my suffering to distract from dealing with these issues. It is what Ravi Zacharias did when he manipulated women and abused them by saying he needed or deserved sexual release because his ministry was so difficult.
A martyr complex infects religious people involved in humanitarian and mission work or anything in life with the twisted logic that, “if this is hard, it must be what God wants me to do,” or, “because this hurts, it is a good thing to do.” In other words, there is no real examination of what the person is actually doing, how they are equipped for a work, or what the impact might be on local people. Something might be hard because the person doing it is utterly unqualified for it. Or it might be hard because it is being done badly. Maybe. The challenge does not necessarily mean it is “God’s will.”
Obviously I don’t mean this is always the case. Life is hard for everyone much of the time. There is real suffering and pain. I just mean we have to be wiser and more discerning than this simplistic justification.
I have heard this many times. Christians engage in a cross-cultural or inter religious conversation and are not received well, even face harassment or pushback. Their response is sometimes, “See! They are persecuting me because of my faith.” They then do not have to examine the possibility that they may have offended people culturally or misused language or caused shame and even fear in the those they talked to. I have seen people refuse to wash their fruits and vegetables and when they develop intestinal worms or persistent diarrhea, they declare they are suffering for the gospel. Or when someone disobeys the law of a country in which they are a guest and have to pay a fine or even get kicked out, they are praised as a “martyr”.
The martyr complex is an excuse to avoid seeking wisdom and to not grow, learn, or change.
It isn’t just those living cross culturally. I hear stories from the USA about Christians being persecuted at work because of their faith when later it turns out they were shunned by coworkers because they were acting like a jerk.
Suffering makes for a great story, especially if that suffering takes place internationally, cross-culturally, or in the context of people who don’t share the same faith. It makes that person who “suffered” a hero! A spiritual giant! And it helps them raise money for more work because who doesn’t want to support someone willing to endure pain and hardship for the sake of their “good” convictions.
They then miss out on how they themselves are contributing to their own suffering.
And, voila, we have developed a savior, dare we say, a suffering savior. Someone willing to suffer in order to help and save in God’s name, because this must from God it is so hard. Let me just say the obvious: We are not the saviors.
I absolutely know there is real suffering and persecution on account of religious belief in the world. I am not minimizing that. In fact, it is important to distinguish it so that it can be properly addressed. Meaning, move the savior and martyr out of the way to center the needs of the ones truly suffering or being persecuted (including those of other faiths as we talked about here). Meaning, hello white American Christian (me) yes, there are struggles but beware of how we communicate them, how we may contribute to them, and how we could shut down other people as we respond to them.
How have you seen the martyr complex manifest itself?
What can be done to counter this if we start to sense it rise in ourselves or our coworkers or friends?
Saviors and Martyrs
Thank you for writing this Rachel. So many truths in here.
Thanks for this post, Rachel. I think your description of the martyr complex as "an excuse to avoid seeking wisdom and to not grow, learn, or change" gets to the heart of what is so potentially harmful about it, both for those with such complexes and also the people with whom they interact. I have seen the martyr complex manifest itself in many communities of which I've been a part, but perhaps more than any within the church. As an Enneagram 2 who's worked for most of my career at NGOs and in education, I can definitely recognize that touches of this complex have manifested in myself from time to time as well. I can recall countless examples of people taking on more and more roles and responsibilities, beginning to feel - understandably - overwhelmed or fatigued, but then refuse, or at least strongly resist accepting help from others with these responsibilities. In terms of what we can do if we sense this complex rising in ourselves or others, I thought the article you linked had some great suggestions. Most helpful for me from among them are: starting from a place of compassion, considering the potential sources of this complex in ourselves/others; (for others) acknowledging or agreeing with the person, but not fulfilling their need for pity, approval or sympathy; and (for ourselves) stepping out of the nurturer role and exploring different roles that are authentic and feel honest to us (while preparing for potential backlash from those around us as they adjust to our shifting role).